i'm so frustrated.. i just wanna scream....

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

i just feel so frustrated and angry and lost right now.....it's just, everything is happening at the same time, i just cant keep track........i feel scared and worried......why?? coz i really dunno what i wanna do in future.....yup, now i m taking finance and operations modules...and i m so lost in class.....the more i study it, the more i dislike it......i just dont get the 'finance' hype thingy....almost 70% of my coursemates loveee finance...and i can bet with my last dollar, all of them, their dream job is to work for investment banks like jp morgan, morgan stanley, etc...
why? coz they say it will make u freaking rich..$$$$...money money money...that's all that matters...
thursday is financial markets class as usual, and its the longest 3 hours of my entire week.... 1st major problem, i can hardly make up what the lecturer with the thick chinese accent is saying...i mean, her english is fine, it's just the accent...i will be having the quiz next week....so 7 days to prepare....i plan to read like 2 chapters per day, to like split the 'pain' u know...i dunno lar....i lack the 'money making' intuition u know....u dont really have to study finance to know how to do business u know....sometimes, it is more of judgement and intuition...
i m having second thoughts about specialising in finance....i m thinking of dropping out of it...=(..

school has been horrible lately....i just few awful....every bloody module is so confusing.....i'm so behind.....next week is the deadline of submission of supply chain assignment, and i m still trying to figure out the solution....coz it's individual assignment, and i couldnt really ask my friends, coz well, there's only 'ONE" answer...but we do discuss on the method to do...

and up till now, i still havent been able to find an internship....today's the 9th, this sem's gonna be over on the 6th of may....that means i have less than a month to search for a job....i'm so scared....there are hardly any more places available...and i have to keep applying amidst all these assignments that are going on....somemore this year, most internships require students to work for 6 months? recession has hit even interns....last year, there are plenty of internships lying around lor....this year, so few....sigh...if not, then i just come home and spend 3 months with my popo....anyways, i long time never go home liao....a few months oredi....actually i havent spent much time at home ever since i came to singapore to study....maybe what i need is a holiday....yes...get myself refreshed....

gosh...i will be graduating next year, and i can foresee that looking for a job next mid year aint gonna be easy...and worse yet, i dont really know what i wanna do in future....i dont think i will wanna work like as an OL lar...9 to 5 job....i dont really wanna work in a bank either....arrrgggghhh, i so mixed up....i dont even feel like working...

i'm all over the place.....and i'm so upset and frustrated, i dont even bother to check my spellings..

peace out